Individual Counselling
Individual Counselling
What I Offer:
- Individual session of one hour at £40 (some consessions available)
- Indivdual sessions for people who are part of a couple - in preparation for doing couples work. £40 for one hour.
Page contents below:
- "How does individual counselling work?" A short piece about how counselling works.
- "My Counselling Style with Individuals." A description of the person centred approach to counselling.
How does individual counselling work?
When we are distressed or overwhelmed with feelings, we often find it hard to think sensibly. This is because we frequently don't want to think about the thing that is distressing - that's normal and natural because thinking about it makes it feel worse! So then we tend to get into blaming ways: "This my fault" or "I'm so stupid; I can't stop thinking about it" I call this feeling bad about feeling bad. Our thoughts tend to go round and so we feel even more powerless and worthless.
Going to an experienced counsellor or therapist can interfere healthily with this kind of circular thought. It's often difficult to take our downside into relationships, friendships or families. As an experienced counsellor I have no 'axe to grind' or opinion about what you 'should' do. I am very unlikely to be brought down by you because it is a professional relationship. Within that safe relationship it is possible to understand and be very sensitive to your emotions and problems in a completely non-judgemental way. It is also possible to give gentle and straightforward feedback. This should create a safe space in which you can freely explore with less fear and without ending up depressed. It oftens feels safer to do this with an experienced counsellor rather than alone.
If you look into "Couples Counselling" page you will see how I do relationship counselling. As a couples counsellor in Exeter I cover marriage counselling, relationship advice, divorce counselling.
My Counselling Style with Individuals
The Person Centred Approach to Counselling, A Short Introduction
The person centred approach was developed by the experienced counsellor and psychologist Dr Carl Rogers (1902 - 1987), who proposed new humanistic ideas for counselling. These moved away from the old doctor/patient model of the counsellor as an expert/authority figure who knew everything about the client. Rogers trusted in people and believed that, if a safe psychological environment existed then all people would naturally move towards greater awareness and a better fulfilment of their potentials.
The following potentials, he believed, are within all of us:
- sociability: the need to be with other human beings and a desire to know and be known by other people,
- being trusted and trustworthy,
- being curious about the world, and open to experience,
- being creative and compassionate
The psychological setting which helps us realise these potentials is one where we feel free from threat, both physically and psychologically. Rogers said counsellors could create this safe setting with clients and therefore help to bring about change. Much of his work was in understanding and defining the disciplines and conditions to be followed by counsellors so that they could create a safe therapeutic relationship with people who came to see them.
Carl Rogers wrote a landmark paper in 1957 called The Necessary and Sufficient Conditions for Therapeutic Personality Change. In it he described the "core conditions" that are needed by a counsellor in order to bring about therapeutic change. The main three are:
Empathy
Rogers said that if this condition is in place the counsellor is"..experiencing an accurate, empathic understanding of the client's awareness of his own experience." He stressed the importance of the counsellor showing the understanding to the client.
Unconditional Positive Regard
This meant that the counsellor is accepting and absolutely non-judgemental of the client. Rogers said the counsellor is acceptant of all the parts of the client; it is the opposite of saying "you are bad in these ways' good in those". It is completely unconditional in that there is no element of "I only like you or accept you if you are thus and so".
Congruence
Rogers said this means that the counsellor, in the confines of the therapeutic relaionship, is a 'congruent, genuine and integrated person". He said it means that the counsellor does not either intentionally or unintentionally hide behind a facade or front; that the counsellor actually is the person they are feeling themselves to be at the time.
Today there are many people in, for example, child care, patient care, relationship counselling and bereavement counselling that use these three guiding principles or "core conditions" - empathy, unconditional positive regard and congruence.
At this level, Person Centred theory and work is simple to describe. It is also a more complex approach which includes philosophical ideas and theories about child development. Many people agree that, keeping to these principles in our lives and using these disciplines as a person-centred counsellor, can be exciting and very challenging.